three feet to the left
by scrub456
Summary: Killer Evans shoots John. A study in Sherlock's internal chaos. *Towel Day 2018 prompt*
1. Chapter 1

*** Author's Note***

 _Towel Day Prompt:_ "He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left." ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

This story is a bit of an experiment for me. It's disjointed and formatted oddly on purpose. I hope the reason soon becomes clear, but if you have any questions, please ask (and don't mind the random periods throughout... they're intended solely as space holders for the format to work).

* * *

 _Pressure._

 _pressurepressurepressure._

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"Keep... Sher-"

"Pressure. Yes, I know. Lay still John. Please."

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 _Please. Please John._

 _Pressure._

 _Pressure._

 _Please._

.

"Sher..."

"Eyes open, John. C'mon. C'mon, John."

.

 _Pressure._

 _No. Breathe._

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"No. No, John. Breathe. Breathe. Don't... _John. Breathe._ "

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 _Breathe._

 _John breathe._

 _Pressure._

 _Breathe. breathebreathebreathebreathe._

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"Sherlock... Oh, christ. Sherlock, up. Let them..."

"No don't... Don't. I - I have to... Pressure, I've got to..."

"Let them. They're here to help. They've got him."

.

 _Stop. Greg. no. stop._

"Greg, please. I need-"

"Car. My car. Just there. There! We'll follow, Sherlock. C'mon. Go! We'll be right behind."

"John. Oh, John. No, John, please."

.

 _Please. pleasepleasebreatheplease._

 _Please._

 _Breathe, John._

.

 _please._


	2. Chapter 2

_Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty._

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 _Nothing._

 _Breathe. C'mon breathe._

 _No. nononono._

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 _One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six._

.

 _John please. John please._

 _Please._

.

 _Nothing._

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"Charge."

"Clear!"

 _Nothing._

"Again! Clear!"

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 _Oh no. No, John. John._

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"Pulse! We've got him."

"Go! Let's go. Move!"

.

 _Wait. Wait please-_

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"Wait! No, John, I need - No!"

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 _John, please._

.

 _Please._

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 _I need you. I need to... Just..._

 _Breathe. Keep breathing._


	3. Chapter 3

_tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

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 _Blood. It's still... John's blood. So much blood._

.

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

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"Sherlock, you wanna wash that-"

"No."

"You really ought to."

" _No._ I can't... I."

 _Can't. I can't._

"It's John. Uhm, John's. I can't. I have to... It's all I've..."

 _All I have. It's all. John. His life. John. On my hands._

"You won't understand."

"Think I might, mate. We'll take care of it later, yeah?"

"Yeah." _No. Not until..._

 _John._

 _._

 _John._

.

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_


	4. Chapter 4

_Simulation One._

 _Location: Sitting room, Garrideb family home._

 _Individuals in Play: Holmes. Watson. Evans._

 _Replay scene. Reset Holmes location, three feet left of original. Other contributing factors remain._

 _Commence simulation._

.

"Check upstairs, I'll start here." Enter the sitting room. Watson follows.

"We're not splitting up. That never ends well for us." Genuine concern.

Roll my eyes. "We're wasting time. We can cover more ground..."

"It's not up for discussion." Stubborn.

"John, please." Apply good manners.

Watson pauses. Holds up his hand. I hear it too. Metal on concrete. Directly below.

"Trap door." I nod to it. "Dull. How I miss the days criminals actually made an effort."

"I'll put a request out on the blog." Sarcastic but fond. Gun drawn.

I release the mechanism on the trap door, from directly in front of the opening instead of my original position just to the right.

Evans charges, gun drawn. I stumble back. Make a grab. Miss. He aims. Fires. Watson fires. Evans falls.

I fall.

Close range shot to the lower abdomen. Knick the intestine. Immediate heavy blood loss. Peritonitis. Bullet lodged against L1. Shock.

"Fuck. Oh... Fuck. Sherlock. Christ." Watson. Doctor Watson. Captain Watson. Battle mode.

"John." _File note: Ask John his experience with how it feels to nearly die._

"Don't. Just fucking don't." Panic. Anger. "Sherlock. Sherlock, you bastard. Breathe."

.

 _End simulation._

 _Outcome: Watson - unharmed. Holmes - severely wounded, survival probable. Evans - moderately wounded, survival ensured._

 _Conclusion: Preferable to original, though not ideal._


	5. Chapter 5

_tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

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 _Nothing. Still nothing._

 _Blood. Just blood and nothing._

.

 _Greg. Coffee._ "How's he?"

"Nothing yet."

"You maybe wanna..."

 _No. It's John's. I have to... I have to keep it. He needs... No._

"Not yet."

"Alright. Later, then."

.

 _Later._

 _Much later._

 _When John..._

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 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

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 _I need you._

 _John, I need -_

.

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

.

 _Please._


	6. Chapter 6

_Simulation Two._

 _Location: Sitting room, Garrideb family home._

 _Individuals in Play: Holmes. Watson. Evans._

 _Replay scene. Reset Watson location, three feet left of original. Other contributing factors remain._

 _Commence simulation._

.

"Check upstairs, I'll start here." We enter the sitting room together.

"We're not splitting up. That never ends well for us." His hand on my bicep. Lingers.

Roll my eyes. "We're wasting time. We can cover more ground..."

"It's not up for discussion." Constant. Unwavering.

"John, please." The 'please' pains me.

He smiles. Then pauses and holds up his hand. I hear it too. Metal on concrete. Directly below.

"Trap door." I nod to it. "Dull. How I miss the days criminals actually made an effort."

"I'll put a request out on the blog." Sarcastic but fond. Wound up for a fight. I love him like this.

.

 _Pause simulation._

 _LOVE [luhv], noun: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another._

 _Sentiment previously undefined._

 _Further exploration necessary._

 _Resume simulation._

.

I release the mechanism on the trap door, from my original position just to the right of the opening.

Evans charges, gun drawn. Sees me first, lunges. I evade. He aims. I am brutally shoved aside. Two shots. Evans falls.

Watson falls.

Close range shot to the abdomen. Inferior vena cava. Exangunation. Death.

.

 _Death._

.

 _Stop. STOP._

 _End simulation._

 _End it._

 _Outcome: Watson - deceased. Holmes - decimated. Evans - deceased._

 _Conclusion: Avoid. Must be prevented at any cost._


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't."

 _Blood._

 _John's blood._

 _._

 _Taunting. Love? You killed him._

 _._

"I can't. I have to-"

"Sherlock, breathe."

"My hands. Gr- Greg, my... John's blood..."

"Washroom's just there. You need help?"

 _Yes. So very much._

"No. I..."

 _Yes. Please._

"I'll leave you to it. But I'll be right outside the door. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes. Good."

.

 _The water isn't hot enough. The soap... I can't._

 _I can't._

 _It's not enough._

 _It's not-_

.

"Let me." _Greg._

"Greg, I..."

"Sherlock, he's strong. He's going to be fine."

"...I love him."

"Christ, Sherlock. Does he know?"

"He does not. I only just..."

"The heart can be a real bitch sometimes. Come sit back down."

"I didn't get to tell him."

"You will. I promise."

 _Promise._

 _John, I promise. Anything._

 _Everything._

 _Please._

.

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

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"Mister Holmes? I have good news."


	8. Chapter 8

_Simulation Three._

 _Location: Sitting room, Garrideb family home._

 _Individuals in Play: Holmes. Watson. Evans._

 _Replay scene. Reset Watson location three feet left of trap door, directly across from Holmes. Other contributing factors remain._

 _Commence simulation._

.

"Check upstairs, I'll start here." His hand on the small of my back, guiding me.

"We're not splitting up. That never ends well for us." A gentle, lingering, squeeze to my bicep.

Roll my eyes, but I don't shake off his touch. "We're wasting time. We can cover more ground..."

He rolls his eyes right back and huffs. "It's not up for discussion." Steadfast.

"John, please." That I reserve 'please' and 'thank you' for him, and sometimes Mrs. Hudson, does not go unnoticed. And does not leave him unaffected.

He smiles and it lights his eyes. That light goes hard suddenly and he holds up his hand in warning. I hear it too. Metal on concrete. Directly below.

"Trap door." I nod to it. "Dull. How I miss the days criminals actually made an effort."

"I'll put a request out on the blog." Sarcastic. Fond. A machine ready to spring to action. He is beautiful and I love him.

I release the mechanism on the trap door, from my original position just to the right. Watson, directly across from me.

Evans charges, gun drawn. Watson brings the butt of his gun down, stunning Evans. I kick his gun away. He stumbles back down to the basement.

I latch the trap door and again bemoan the state of the modern criminal class. Watson laughs. He is standing very near.

.

 _Pause simulation._

 _Rewind._

 _Adjust._

 _Resume alternate simulation._

.

His hand on my back.

My arm.

He smiles.

I love him.

We shove the desk three feet to the right, trapping Evans in the basement.

.

 _Pause simulation._

 _Rewind._

 _Adjust._

 _Resume alternate simulation._

.

We wait on Nathan Garrideb's front porch for Lestrade.

John lets me smoke. I let him think he negotiates me down to two.

His hand still manages to rest on my back and my arm. He still smiles.

I still love him.

.

 _Pause simulation._

 _Rewind._

 _Adjust._

 _Resume alternate simulation._

.

I turn down Nathan Garrideb's case. Direct him to any lawyer capable of reading a contract.

John disapproves, but makes tea anyway.

Somehow, his touches still linger. He's still beautiful.

And I love him.

.

 _End simulation._

 _Outcome: Watson - unharmed. Holmes - unharmed. Evans - arrested._

 _Conclusion: Discuss sentimental entanglement with John Watson immediately. Preferable to other prior simulations in every variation._


	9. Chapter 9

"Agonizing over what went wrong is neither beneficial to yourself nor Doctor Watson."

"Why are you here, Mycroft?"

"Neither is wasting your time on those scenarios that never happened."

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 _beep_

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"It's all I have at... I can't access anything else at the moment. I have to think about _something,_ or I'll... I don't want to do something I'll regret. That will hurt him even more..."

"Sentiment."

"Yes."

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"Does he know."

"I suspect so, but I haven't told him."

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"Given the nature of your work, I would not hesitate too long, brother."

"I _know."_

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"I spoke with your landlady. She'll be here tomorrow with a few necessities."

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"Please keep me apprised of the situation."

"Do you expect me to believe..."

"And give my best to Doctor Watson. If either of you should need anything, do not hesitate."

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 _beep_

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"Do get some rest, brother. You look haggard."

"Fuck off, Mycroft."

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 _beep_

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"Thank you."

"Good night, brother."

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	10. Chapter 10

_Simulation Four._

 _Location: Sitting room, Garrideb family home._

 _Individuals in Play: Holmes. Watson. Evans._

 _Replay original scene. All contributing factors remain._

 _Commence simulation._

.

"Check upstairs, I'll start here." I don't want him to go. He expects me to try to send him away. His hand. Light pressure lingering on the small of my back, guiding me. Grounding me.

"We're not splitting up. That never ends well for us." And it's what I expect of him. What I know to be true. His hand again. A gentle, lingering, squeeze to my bicep. I crave the touch.

Only his.

Roll my eyes, but I don't shake him off. I never do. His touch is life. "We're wasting time. We can cover more ground..."

He rolls his eyes right back and huffs. "It's not up for discussion." Steadfast. Strong. Perfectly matched.

Perfect.

"John, please." That I reserve 'please' and 'thank you' for him, and sometimes Mrs. Hudson, does not go unnoticed. And does not leave him unaffected.

He smiles and it lights his eyes. I see, in that instant, infinite possibilty in his eyes. He knows. He sees my secrets... He reveals his own. How could I not see?

He tenses suddenly, his instincts always astounding, and he holds up his hand in warning. I hear it too. Metal on concrete. Directly below.

"Trap door." I nod to it. "Dull. How I miss the days criminals actually made an effort."

"I'll put a request out on the blog." I have never loved anyone more than I do in this moment. In the heat of danger, his capacity for dark levity is endearing.

I am lost.

 _Distracted._

I release the mechanism on the trap door, from my original position just to the right. He is behind me, and to the left.

Evans charges, gun drawn. John is in his direct line of sight. He aims. They both fire.

Both fall.

My instinct is to kill Evans. But John...

 _johnjohnjohnjohn._

 _Chest cavity. Lung. Breathe. Oh, keep breathing._

"John. John what do I do. John, I don't know what to do."

"Sher..."

.

 _Halt simulation._

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 _._

 _beep_

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 _beep_

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 _beep_

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"Sher..."

"John? John, are you..."

"Stop thinking."

"But-"

.

 _End simulation protocol._

 _Outcome: Inconclusive._

 _Conclusion: Further consideration necessary._

.

"John, I..."

"Sher, I know. Me too."

"I'm sorry, John. So so sorry."

"Don't. Please..."

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 _beep_

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 _beep_

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 _beep_

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"I'll get a nurse?"

"Yeah... Good."

"Rest, John."

"Sher... I do. I..."

"I know, John. I love you too."

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 _beep_

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 _beep_

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 _beep_

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End file.
